Unassigned
Do you ever pass strangers on the street and wonder what their life must be like? Or overhear someone else’s conversation in Starbucks and wonder what their lot in life is?
Yeah, me neither.
But if we did, I wouldn’t blame us.
I think there’s something in our human nature that instinctively drives us to compare ourselves with those around us; to weigh our lives in light of what we do or don’t have in contrast or comparison with what others do or don’t have.
I, for instance, may or may not experience hot waves of envy whenever I see a girl wearing an outfit I think is really cute. I go right from acknowledging said cuteness of the outfit to using it as a standard for my own wardrobe. If I’m not careful, it can sometimes go as far as to stealing whatever joy I previously had about something else.
And although this tendency to compare may be “natural,” it is by no means beneficial. Or healthy.
I’ve been learning that the hard way lately. In fact, I keep repeating the classroom phrase, “Keep your eyes on your own paper,” over and over to myself (I never, ever claimed to be normal, okay?).
It seems that our perspective on life can get wildly off track when we rank how good or bad our life is based solely on how good or bad the lives are of those around us. And the worst part is it usually isn’t the strangers we are comparing ourselves to, it’s those closest to us. In a matter of minutes, we can go from floating high because we have a higher salary than our workout partner to wallowing in self pity because our friend in book club got engaged.
In fact, sometimes I think it is a downright miracle that we get through the days without tearing each other apart.
I heard “Always” by Switchfoot in the car this morning and the opening lyrics struck me:
This is the start
This is your heart
This is the day you were born
This is the sun
These are your lungs
This is the day you were born
These are the scars
Deep in your heart
This is the place you were born
This is the hole
Where most of your soul
Comes ripping out
From the places you’ve been torn
The fact of the matter is, despite where I wish I was in life or what I wish I would have learned or mastered or accumulated or accomplished, I am standing here today exactly who I am in this moment and that is just the reality. And that is a fact that is completely independent of what those around me have learned, mastered, accumulated, or accomplished.
This doesn’t mean I can’t change or grow or that I won’t wake up in a year and realize I have everything I always wanted and I am the person I always wished I would become. But for right now, these are my lungs, this is my heart, these are my scars, this is my life.
And no amount of comparison will change that. But what I do have is today, and what I can do is shift my perspective and my attitude to accept and appreciate all that comes along with that. Whether or not it measures up.
