Heartbreak. How many songs, movies, poems and plays have been written about it? It’s the ancient thesis: What is love and why, if we don’t know exactly how to define it, can it change us forever? I just got out of a four year relationship. I don’t know how many of you out there have had long, long, long term relationships but there really is no clear way to define how it transforms your life. It’s beautiful, actually. You meet someone new, someone electric, who is unlike anyone you have ever met before. You get to know each other slowly, you fall in love and, over time, a partnership is formed. Each high, each low, the triumphs and failures, the unraveling of each other’s fears and dreams, every moment is shared. You collect the memories. Pictures in frames. Holidays spent. Trips taken. Tokens of love are given and received. The entire city is littered with places where you built your life together. All of it reminds you of how, when and where exactly your whole life changed. But then, you blink your eyes and you are four years older. Baggage gets collected, mistakes have been made, grudges are held and new questions are asked. But the fact remains: you do not recognize yourself without him. You are defined by both of your names, not simply your own.
It’s over. And I cry a lot. Everyday, in fact. But it’s cool: Kleenex is on sale at my local Walgreens and so is Godiva chocolate. I recognize that, maybe, the universe has given me an opportunity to look at my life as myself. For a purpose unknown, but it’s been given and I’ve got to do something about it. And as much as I’d like to sit on my ass, cry, eat chocolate and watch Sex and the City all day, I can’t and I won’t. This is my chance. To invite that long lost friend back into my life: independence. We haven’t spoken in a while and I think we have a lot of catching up to do. And thank god for my other friends. The ones who have been here the whole time. I think that’s the reason, in part, why Cheeky exists. I have always said that it’s the women in my life who have gotten me through my life, regardless if independence comes or goes.
So, what’s up independence? I think we should go shoe shopping and grab a glass of wine in a café by ourselves. Let’s go somewhere new.
