Autumn breaks my heart. I feel like I blinked my eyes, summer was over and I was busting out my scarf and boots once again. Fall is the epitome of transition. I have always found nostalgia in the yellow leaves, the crisp air, the start of a new school year, the taste of apple cider. There is no other time of year where change feels so palpable. For me, it is the eternal, bittersweet reminder of how fast time flies, how long I’ve been friends with my friends, how long I have lived in this city, how much older my younger brother has gotten, how fleeting time spent with my family can feel…
My dad got sick this month. Oh wow – tears just welled in my eyes as I wrote that. He had to go to the hospital and the night I got that phone call from my mom – I awoke to a reality that in 27 years I had yet to face. At the risk of sounding morbid, I had never once thought about my parents not being here. But it’s the truth, and like many things in my life, I have to accept it. Thank god, my dad is completely recovered and his ailment was minor and very treatable. Regardless, this past week I’ve taken a hard look at the things I take for granted. We all do it. It is part of being human and it’s unfortunate that it usually takes something dramatic for us to start paying attention again. Family is definitely one thing, but there’s good health, great friends, a warm bed and a big apartment, people who inspire me, those who believe in me, those who challenge me, those who forgive me and, of course – the courage I must possess to launch a company from scratch.
There’s this line from my favorite Fleetwood Mac song that goes: “Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing, ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? …Time makes you bolder, children get older and I’m getting older too.” I quote this song because Stevie Nicks wrote it in dedication to her father. It’s in dedication that I write this, but also in gratitude, not just to my father and my beautiful family, supportive friends and all of the above, but to Autumn for calling me out on my forgetfulness. You have always been my favorite season, after all.
