Unassigned
I wish life was easy.
Call me lazy, call me crazy, but I do.
Or at least easier.
Yesterday my friend Annie stopped by my house and we traded “hard day” stories. As I was walking her to the door, she sighed heavily and said “Give me ease or give me death!”
We’re really not as dramatic as we sound.
But lately I couldn’t agree more. I just wish life was easy.
I wish I woke up to a prepared cup of coffee at my night stand every morning. I wish money grew on trees (and maybe men, too, for that matter). I wish life came with a full user’s guide to myself. This way I could look in the index and find out how the heck I became both a people pleaser and a rule breaker.
I wish life handed me lemonade. With a straw. And maybe a cute little umbrella garnish. (And while I’m at it, ‘life’ could be dressed as a cute waiter in a tux. I’m just sayin’.)
I wish I had a rewind button to take back all of the hurtful words I said and a mute button for all of the hurtful words I hear.
I wish my family all lived in the same city, on a ranch with horses and land and a wrap-around porch.
I wish my refrigerator had a fountain Diet Coke machine attached to it.
I wish I could spend all of my hours reading, writing, exploring, creating, dreaming.
But then I start to remember certain famous expressions I’ve heard before. Words describing the need to taste the bitter to appreciate the sweet. Words that discuss the process of refining gold through fire. Words that explain that a ruby gets its name and color from its imperfections.
Way to lay it on thick, life.
And so I think for a minute. And scenes from my life emerge from behind the daydream bubble I’ve created of ease and painlessness.
I recall the countless lessons birthed from mistake or tragedy.
I remember the toil and trudge and everyday-ness of past seasons that I now look back on with fondness.
I think back to the painful moments that led to beautiful growth and revelation.
So maybe, just maybe, I don’t want easy,vanilla, clean.
Maybe we all are really meant to dive into the pain, the suffering, the ambiguity, and emerge more aware, wise, sensitive, loving.
Maybe it will never rain Skittles from the sky like the television promised.
Maybe there is more purpose to life than floating around painlessly.
Maybe.
But I’m still holding out for the whole money growing on trees thing.
