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It’s no secret that I’ve always felt more like “one of the guys” than a girly girl. I never paint or even file my nails, I can go days without styling or washing my hair, I’ve never worn foundation and my idea of awesome shoes are a big pair of fluffy boots with a flat heel.
Perhaps it was having an older brother or getting into sports at a young age, or just the way I was made. Regardless, I’ve always been able to empathize with guys and learn from them, whether it’s in relationships, in business, or just friendships. I find it refreshing that there are usually no two-faced comments or excessive gossip or constant complaining about weight and relationships.
I love my female friends and wouldn’t trade them for the world, but put me in a group of men versus a group of women, and I will always feel more comfortable with the boys.
While I definitely think women are superior (no, really), there are some valuable tips to be gained from the boys (and, no, these don’t involve leaving the toilet seat up, the inability to pay attention or listen when we’re talking, or realize that to want to have sex, there needs to be some romance beforehand).
Instead, these “tips” can be applied to all facets of life, especially relationships.
1. Stop complaining. Women are notorious complainers. We are hard on ourselves and others. We nitpick our bodies, our outfits, others’ lifestyle choices and often our men. We can complain about anything large or small, and while some men do complain, most of them bite their tongues and just deal with what’s handed to them. So, take a tip from your man and the next time you get the urge to nag or complain, refrain and talk about something positive or funny instead.
2. Be competitive. Men are competitive – in business, in love and usually with life in general. This doesn’t mean we need to try and “win” or beat everyone, but having a healthy, competitive spirit, whether it’s in the gym or at work, can boost us to places we might not have dreamed. It’s good to state what you really want and to believe in your abilities and goals just as much as men. Why are men still getting paid more in sports and business? Is it just the anatomy or is it the attitude that goes along with it? While we don’t have to be at the top all the time, we can certainly get there if we want to. Watch how your man conducts himself in business. Where is he most successful? And why? Snag a few tips and give him some of your sensitivity for a nice, even trade.
3. Be handy. Why is it that men can fix things and some women can’t? Is it that we don’t want to, or is there really something in our brain chemistry that just makes us overwhelmed? (This happens to me every time I look at a long list of directions for putting something together. It literally does not compute.) Women should know how to change a tire, fix a running toilet, hang a picture, etc. The next time your guy is doing “said” activity, ask if he can teach you. Not only is it great to know how to do these things, it can help you feel more independent and confident, regardless of any situation you might find yourself in.
4. Be a problem-solver. Women analyze. It’s just what we do. When we talk, sometimes we just want a listener. When we talk to men, they are instantly trying to solve our problems. While this can be annoying, it can also be quite helpful. If we put half the energy into problem-solving as we do into obsessing and worrying and analyzing, we’d probably have everything figured out. The next time you are stressed and overwhelmed, stop yourself and assess the situation. Break it down into manageable pieces that can be tackled and achieved. Worrying never solved any problem, so get more hands-on instead.
What are your favorite tips from the boys?